Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)

Just as it says on the DVD case, this movie is indeed a “SMART and SEXY” time. Angelina Jolie and the young Brad Pitt are as glamorous as ever, and what else could heighten their sex appeal other than their aggressive tango moves?

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I enjoyed the marriage counseling opener, which reminded me of the on-camera Superhero interviews from the Incredibles movie, but I’ll admit, the beginning felt a bit slow. It seemed that they wanted to hold on to the big “spy” reveal, but the poster kind of gives away the surprise. And besides, in that first scene, we see Jane’s knife peeking through the slit in her dress, so something is clearly up.

For the first half hour, I’m impatiently waiting to get to the guns blazing part, but once it happens I’m definitely on board. That dinner scene, man! The intense eyebrow raises combined with the low-key tango music had me on the edge of my seat.

I don’t think I need to say anything further. Everyone knows Mr. and Mrs. Smith, regardless of whether or not they’ve seen it. It’s been five or six years, we all know the drill.

I had a great time, but now that I’m letting it sit, why did John and Jane’s agencies set up this whole sting operation to pit their two best assassins against each other? I don’t know. I personally think it would’ve much simpler for their higher-ups to deal with the situation internally. The ladies could invite Jane to a wine party and poison her appetizer. Eddie could snipe John next time he gets an assignment. I mean, neither of them knew that their peers had discovered their marriage. And they also didn’t know that they had married an enemy spy. Wouldn’t have suspected they a thing.

I get it, the fact that John and Jane are top dogs in the business would give someone pause. It’s a reasonable plan, classic pit-them-against-each-other, etc. But doesn’t that bring up a thousand more risks?  Say they attempt to blow up an entire neighborhood during a spontaneous shootout. Or start a mass panic in the middle Times Square.

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Or, you know, mid-way through an epic showdown, they realize that their overpowering, irrational, love for each other trumps the mission at hand and instead have passionate sex all over the ruins of their mansion, strengthening their marriage in the process.

Just spitballing theories. I suppose I’m thinking too critically for what was marketed as a fun, sexy, spy movie.

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